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What is this world coming to when I receive a facebook friend request this morning from my 82 year old grandmother?!?

Other than that, I lead a dull life. I am counting down the days until graduation so I can have a real job. Mainly because I'm sick of student loans and would rather just start paying them back with my real big girl money than using them to pay for my education.

I just can't break in to the Christmas spirit this year. Don't really know why. I don't really want anything for Christmas and I realized that I don't really enjoy opening gifts. I kind of just wish my parents would stick some cash in an envelope and say Merry Christmas. I mean, even if they didn't get me a thing or gave me a single cent, I'd be more content than the thought of opening up gifts. In a year of recession and a better awareness of so much poverty in so many places, I just feel ridiculous opening up wrapped gifts. And I hate winter clothes. So I hope nobody got me any. I hope that doesn't make me sound ungrateful. That is not my intention.

I'd rather just spend my christmas money spending time with friends, whether it be going out to eat or going to the bar for some drinks. I'd take that over a new sweater any day of the week.

Actually, all I want for Christmas is a man. Now that would be one present I wouldn't mind opening ;)

this might be the greatest thing ever

I am a part of history

I went to the Barack Obama rally in Highland, Indiana (with about 40some thousand other people) and it really just changed my life. I have not felt that patriotic since 9/11. Obama is an inspiration to me. I'm not trying to convert votes, but I just feel like he is the epitome of the American dream.

Tomorrow is the day

I get to see BARACK OBAMA.

ok so we'll see how much I actually "see" him, but to be in the same place. The same presence. I was supposed to go to Madison WI for a huge halloween party. But this is once in a lifetime and I get goosebumps thinking about it.

23 no more

So, it's been awhile since I've posted here on blogland. Quite possibly because I was actually sort of content with my life. Let's see here. The title of this blog is officially inaccurate now.

I am no longer 23 years young.

As of last sunday, I am now 24 years young. yikes.

I entered the new millennium yesterday and am now able to send and receive text messages. Those little things are so much fun. I'm probably way too excited about it, but seriously. fun!

After my mom was complaining about cars driving too fast or something equally pointless.
me: how the hell did grandma end up to be such a nice old lady. seems like the older you get, the more senile you are. by the time your grandma's age, you'll be the biggest bitch in lake county!
mom: hahahahahahahaha and you'll have to take care of me!

I have been major slacking on eating healthy lately--so this is my word in writing to get back on the wagon here and lay off the crap food!

I am so Proud to be a...

WHITE SOX FAN! ! ! ! ! !

My bigtime celebrity crush

I do not care if he is like 20 years older than me. Grey's Anatomy makes my days better. Meredith and Derek together make my life complete. If something tears them apart this season, I will be a very mean person.

Presidential debate tomorrow. If McCain shows up. Ha.

I am old.

What has my life become when I am ready for bed at 9:30pm?

Who is this person?!?


In a few weeks the title of this blog won't even be accurate anymore!

Say What Wednesday

8:30am.
me: did you have a good weekend?
4 year old boy: YEAH! I GOT 2 NEW TITTIES!


oh the joys of being a speech therapist and kids who haven't yet suppressed the phonological process of velar fronting, which results in pronouncing the /k/ sound as a /t/ sound.

He was actually telling me that he got 2 new kitties.


It is 7pm and I seem to have contracted an effing cold from those germ infested little monsters, resulting in me being totally exhausted and ready for bed.

Remember

September 11, 2001.
A day I cannot find the right words to write about.
A day when anything else in my life that I write about seems petty and insignificant.
A day I have spent the entire evening watching the History channel re-living.
A day I will never forget.

September 11, 2001.
The lives lost are forever in my heart.

kids say the darndest things

Some of my favorite quotes from kindergartners I encountered during day 1 of my placement:

teacher: okay I'm going to throw you the ball and I want you to tell me your name.
boy she threw the ball to: Michaelthethird (literally he said it as one word)
teacher: thank you Michael
boy: NOOOOOO My NAME IS Michaelthethird

teacher: ok I want you to tell me your favorite color
boy: uhhhhhhh green (and points to orange)

teacher: we are going to draw pictures just like this one and you can take it home to your mom and-
boy (interrupts): MY MOM IS DEAD
another boy: YOUR MOM DIIIIIIED?
teacher: are we supposed to talk when then teacher is talking?
(side note: the boy was not joking. his mom died shortly after he was born)

girl with fake cell phone: I'm gonna call the cops!
same girl later: I'm gonna call the pageant officials (she is in beauty pageants)

teacher: ok good job going potty, but next time we put the toilet paper IN the toilet.

hi-lar-ious.

my luck strikes again!

Who gets flat tires on their first day of student teaching?

*raises hand* ME ME ME ME ME!


Never had a flat tire in my life, so why not get one on my first day of student teaching.

Sometimes it be like DAMN.

Tomorrow

is the day I enter a school not as a visitor, but as a speech pathologist. GRANTED, I may be a "student teacher" in the realm of speech pathology, but to the kids I'll be working with, I'm "the teacher" and they have to call me with that lovely "Miss/Ms" title. YUCK. That makes me feel like my 86 year old grandmother.

My supervisor said that although the kids are in school, they don't usually come to speech until the second week. So it looks like I'll be putting up bulletin boards or something equally exciting.

I am SO pissed at myself because I know in one of my drunken cleaning sprees (seriously, who cleans when they are smashed?), I threw out the paper from the hospital I used to work at that said I passed a TB test in December. So now, I have to get another TB test to give to the school I'm interning at, which will set me back like $30. Genius me.

Here's to a semester of life lessons, good grades, happy kids, and hot male teachers (please Lord give me an incentive to wake up early and look nice). Amen!

yearbook yourself!

www.yearbookyourself.com

so dang fun!

are you ready?

FOR SOME FOOTBALL


So, college football starts this weekend and lo and behold Purdue doesn't have a game. Figures, a weekend that I have the Big 10 network at my fingertips, a weekend where I could actually go down to West Lafiesta to tailgate, go to the game, and relive my "boiler up sober down" years. No game. BTFU anyway.

Was the old school Monday night football intro videos with Hank Williams Jr not the most bad ass thing ever? I lived for that song when I was like 8 years. My parents would be like "bedtime" and I'd be like "hell no, it's song time!" Ok so maybe those weren't my exact words.

When did my life become so mundane? To the point where my "hot date" on Friday night was taking a walk around the neighborhood with my mom and her mom-aged friend. Beautiful sky, perfect weather, and me thinking "ok, I really need to meet a nice guy."

My favorite Obama commercial EVER.

Oh McCain, how crafty you are picking a woman VP. Trying to lure those Hillary voters aren't you...

Did you know?

that over 1 out of every 100 people is incarcerated at this very moment. Or, did you know that some states spend more money on correctional institutions than education? That is disgusting. Any guesses as to how much it "costs" to keep an inmate locked up for one year? Nearly...get ready for this...Nearly $30,000. And that is per person. Per year. Think about 20 year olds who get life without parole. Say they live 60 years. 60 years times 30 thousand is $1,800,000. I would absolutely love to know the salary that prison officials must be making because none of that money is spent on facilities, food, or basic needs of the inmate.

"The idea is to make a distinction between the people we're afraid of and the ones we're just ticked off at," said Rick Kern, director of the Virginia Criminal Sentencing Commission. "Not that you shouldn't punish them. But if it's going to cost $27,500 a year to keep them locked up, then maybe we should be smarter about how we do it."

Uh-I'm no rocket scientist, but don't you think somebody could have come up with that distinction just a little bit earlier?

wordle.net

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I MET JIM GAFFIGAN

yes I sure did. And I got a picture with him and he signed this newspaper article about him that was in The Times yesterday. omg his show tonight was so hilarious. I literally could not even drink my beer because I would spray it on the people in front of me or it would come out my nose because I was laughing so dang hard.

"You ever been to a Catholic Mass? It's still going on...right now"

"Bowling is what you do when you've done everything else. Well, we could hang ourselves or we could go bowling. Let's go bowling"

"My wife's always like 'Why don't you ever make the bed?' and I'm like 'the same reason why I don't tie my shoes after I take them off.' I like to think of it as the bed always being open."

so many more. Love him. And my friends and I took a picture with him that I am hoping they will post soon!

me: I love you. You are hilarious (as he's signing my newspaper)
Jim: thanks so much for coming. I really appreciate it
me: thanks for signing that
Jim: here. now go throw it away
me: oh shut up
Jim and I simultaneously doing his obnoxious nasal voice and the ppl in the meet and greet line laughing at us

HAHA! He is so great!

I LOVE JIM GAFFIGAN.

I am a Region Rat
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Yesterday at 11:42pm
Warning: If you are not from Indiana or Chicago you will find this completely boring.

Warning: If you are from Northwest Indiana you will find this completely pandering and long

I am a Region Rat. I’m aware not many people would readily identify themselves as a rat. Allow me to explain. Or at least attempt to. As many of you know I’m proud to be from Indiana. Well, as proud as anyone from Indiana can be about being from Indiana. We’re not really the bragging type as you’ve perhaps seen in my stand up.

Then what is a Region Rat? Well, the “Region” refers to the part of Indiana where I was raised. I’m from Northwest Indiana also known as The Calumet Region or just The Region. Now for the “Rat” part? I only have theories on it. Well, let me set it up and maybe you’ll understand why I say “Region Rat” with pride.

Northwest Indiana is the oddball part of the state. It’s kind of like the Goth Girl at church. Indiana is considered by some to be the most northern Southern state, but the people of Northwest Indiana often have Chicago accents, root for the Bears and watch Chicago television (I’m a huge Colts and Bears fan). Additionally, while most of Indiana may be rural/pastoral or even hilly, The Calumet Region, while beautiful in many ways, resembles many other industrial rust belt areas of the Great Lakes. The steel mills disappeared in the 80’s and 90’s along with many good paying jobs. The largest city in Northwest Indiana is Gary and well, let’s just say it is nothing like “The Music Man”. In 1937 Time magazine declared Gary the most beautiful city in the world. What they didn’t declare was that whoever they named Gary after had some pretty bad B.O.

Essentially, Northwest Indiana in many ways feels, sounds and in some parts smells different from Indiana. As a result, when most people from Indiana find out I’m from Northwest Indiana, there is usually a polite pause and then a tentative “Oh, ok” which is code for “Technically, you are from Indiana, but not really”.

So is Northwest Indiana part of Chicagoland? Well, yes, but not really. Northwest Indiana rests right up to the east of the City of Chicago geographically and people do commute in for work, but to Northwest Indiana, Chicago is like that boss that never remembers your name. I’ve told people in Chicago many times that I’m from Northwest Indiana only to receive a blank stare followed by an occasional “Where’s that?” It’s ten minutes away. For Chicagoans that do know of Northwest Indiana, Region Rats are not considered equals. We are considered “hicks” or well, Region Rats.

I don’t know who came up with “Region Rat”. Was it our fellow Hoosiers to the south or “our boss”, Chicago, to the west? Either way, Region Rat stuck and frankly I love it.

And as probably the most famous Region Rat, Michael Jackson, once sang; “I’m going back to Indiana”.

August 23rd Star Plaza Theater Merrillville, Indiana 7pm
http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/07004059DE5FCF94?artistid=863832&majorcatid=10002&minorcatid=51

August 23rd Star Plaza Theater Merrillville, Indiana 10pm
http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/070040CB674E3443?artistid=863832&majorcatid=10002&minorcatid=51

Facebook Event Page For Merrillville
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=12093715125

I love you and Schoop’s,

Jim

What is with all this talk of AUTISM?

As a SLP major who is nearing the end of my school years, I have had about a complete 360 on my view of autism. I even literally quit my job as a behavior therapist who works with autistic kids because I felt I was being hypocritical.

Honestly. I think autism is the new ADD.

I do believe autism exists. I believe I worked with a girl who was about as pure of an example of autism as can be. And then, I see all these people in the clinic who are diagnosed as "autistic." Symbolic language disorder? Language Delay? Maybe yes. Autistic? NO.

I know about the spectrum from PDD to Aspergers to high functioning to full blown autism. You name it, I know about it.

I am a firm believer that if you label someone, these kids are going to live up to that label. I see no problem with parents seeking out therapy from private sources such as university clinics to get extra help for their children. I do, however, become angry when parents get angry at school districts because their "autistic" kids aren't receiving therapy through the school. Well, to get therapy at a school (aka FREE THERAPY), your kid (depending on the state) has to meet criteria, usually around 1.5-1.75 standard deviations below the mean. In other words, if 100 is average, and 15 is the standard deviation, then anywhere form 85-115 is "average." 1.5 standard deviations below average is around 63. And that is lenient criteria. In Wisconsin, it's 1.75 below. That's a pretty low score.

I believe autism exists. I also believe society believes in every kid being the best and superstar and most well behaved, and let's face it...that isn't gonna happen. Autistic kids only like certain texture foods is a common statement. Well, I gag whenever I eat yogurt or pudding. I have nervous tendencies. I am anti-social sometimes. Bright lights give me a headache. God, I hope I'm not autistic. Or PDD-NOS.

I'm not trying to be an ass or offensive, and I have no problem dealing with autistic kids, but I am really quite sick of hearing about this autism epidemic. I believe in autism. I also believe it's being over-diagnosed. And I believe labeling kids, especially with such a stigmatized word, is not going to solve anything.

I want a new hip hairstyle

I love this haircut on Lisa Rinna. I have NEVER had hair that looked anything like this, but I am very tempted to see if I could pull this off. My biggest fear is ending up looking like some short haired freak with a fat face. I always think short hair would make my face look huge. And I think my hair is thinner than Lisa Rinna's, but aren't there styling products for that? Ahhhh. I want this haircut.

How much money do Speech Pathologists make?

 

Average Speech Language Pathologist Salaries in St John, IN

In USD as of Jul 26, 2008			25k 50k 75k
Speech Language Pathologist	$63,000

 

Find Jobs & Salaries at SimplyHired

 

Average Speech Language Pathologist Salaries in Peachtree City, GA

In USD as of Jul 26, 2008			25k 50k 75k
Speech Language Pathologist	$60,000

 

Find Jobs & Salaries at SimplyHired

 

Average Speech Language Pathologist Salaries in Colorado Springs, CO

In USD as of Jul 26, 2008			25k 50k 75k
Speech Language Pathologist	$65,000

 

Find Jobs & Salaries at SimplyHired

 

Average Speech Language Pathologist Salaries in Greenville, SC

In USD as of Jul 26, 2008			20k 40k 60k
Speech Language Pathologist	$51,000

 

Find Jobs & Salaries at SimplyHired

Just a few of the places I am considering moving to when I graduate. Not too sure how accurate this salary website is, as I noticed it said something about SLPs making over $200,000 and I have never heard of such a thing in my entire life. Not real sure why it is significantly less around South Carolina. I have made a pact with myself that the ONLY reason why I would consider staying in the glorious Region is if I got a job with the LC School district. Actually, I am considered a Special Education aspect of teaching, so I would be employed by Westlake, not LC, and could end up at a Munster school as Westlake employs special education teachers for both the Lake Central and Munster schools. I am really leaning towards working in a school, but that might change after my placements. I know that I hate winter, but love summers in the Region, so if I got a job at a school anywhere else, I could escape winter here and have long summer visits. The best of both worlds.

And I know if I don't get out of here now, I never will, and will probably end up single and alone for the rest of my life. A regular "old maid."

Can I make some of that money now please? I am broke no joke.

Thank God for credit cards...and student loans arriving in a month...because I just bought tickets for me and my now married (as of a week ago!) friends to see.... in Merrillville!!! Holy BACON am I excited!

amazing wedding toast

When I was maid of honor at Lisa and Keith's wedding on Saturday, I sat up many nights concocting the perfect wedding toast. This is what I came up with. Of course, there were minor edits when it came time to give the speech. No way could I read anything word for word. That's not my style. People laughed. People cried. I would laugh, look at Lisa, and say "I'm sorry I can't look at you when I say this. I'm already shaking as it is." The photographer told me it was the best one she had ever heard. Hopefully, I will have some pictures of the wedding to post soon. Congrats to 2 of my best friends!

Hello everyone-
It is my great honor, my great pleasure, to stand up here and tell you a little bit about these 2 amazing people. And I'm gonna try to get through this without crying, but I can't promise you that. For those who don't know, Lisa and I met in high school. We were not best friends back then, but the moment I heard her do her first prank call, I thought "I have got to become friends with this girl!" So, if you've ever received a phone call from "LuLu at New Moon"--relax--it was just Lisa. You forgot your fried rice.

Lisa and Keith have been 2 of my closest friends for about half a decade now. Generous. Intelligent. Level-headed. Honestly, I could rattle off adjectives describing them until the sun comes up tomorrow morning. This entire wedding experience has been amazing right down to this food here today. I mean, I was hoping for a boiling lava hot HOT POCKET. But, I guess prime rib and chicken kiev is pretty good too. I can’t wait to try that gorgeous cake. I look at it and all I can think is HOPE IT’S CHOCOLATE FOR MEEEEEE. If you've never heard of Jim Gaffigan, you really need to go on youtube or something and those last few sentences will make alot more sense I promise.

Marriage is a monumental moment in life. 700 years ago, a wise Italian poet named Dante Alighieri wrote “Remember tonight. For it is the beginning of always.” Now, the GPA on my college transcripts will tell you that I am no literature analyst, but I think Dante wanted us to view marriage as a promise. A belief in each other. Like a reward for persisting in life so long alone. I mean, God knows, we’ve all made mistakes. Tonight is when we decide to ignore and simply rise above the pain from our past.

At this very moment, we celebrate Lisa and Keith, their love, the chance they have taken, and the challenges that lie ahead. Hard times will pop-up, they always do. Gas prices will reach $13 a gallon. Probably tomorrow. You won’t be able to find the remote control for the TV. Grocery stores will be out of the fairy dust of the food community—Keith, you know this one. BACON bits.

I may not be the oldest here tonight; and I am DEFINITELY not the wisest, but I have learned this: People like Lisa and Keith are truly diamonds in the rough. And Love, Love is always an unfaltering and guiding force. When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same. HAVE FAITH in your love for each other. And I know that TOGETHER, you 2 can and will withstand anything that comes your way.

So, to Lisa, Keith, and everyone here who loves them, here’s to love, here’s to life, and here’s to tonight, the beginning of always.

Patrick Henry Hughes

12 hours ago, the name Patrick Henry Hughes meant nothing to me.

Thanks to Extreme Home Makeover, I witnessed this amazing human being. I have never seen a better episode, or more amazing father/son combination.

HERE is the website he maintains himself full of pictures, media, and information about him and the Extreme Home Makeover.

He is like Ray Charles, except without the drugs and womanizing. I look at this kid and am just in a sense of awe. He has every right to be so angry at the world, and yet he is so incredible. A musical prodigy. I am going to buy his CD.

What an inspiration. Thank God for people like Patrick Henry Hughes and his father.

"But when you are hungry, the Food Network's like porn..."

I think Jim Gaffigan is the funniest person on the planet.

I don't intend for this entry to be a shameless plug for a fellow Region Rat (he is originally from Chesterton), but dang, the guy is hilarious!

"WARNING! You just bought Hot Pockets! Hope you're drunk or heading home to a trailer!"

He is coming to Merrillville in August and I would sell my future first born child to go see him. I can type up quotes until my fingers fall off, but seriously, his facial expression and the little side voice that he does to imitate the audience's thoughts is unable to be conveyed through written words!

"I love our holiday traditions, like the Christmas tree, where we chop down a tree and we put it in our living room. Kinda sounds like the behavior of a drunk man. Some woman wakes up, "Honey, why is there a... a... pine tree... in our living room?" "I like it! We're gonna- we're gonna decorate it... for Jesus... And then I'm gonna hang my socks over the fireplace... fill 'em with candy... maybe I'll tie some leaves to the ceiling, see if I can get some action... and then I'm gonna puke on that couch... Merry Christmas."

"You know that Cinnabon odor? Like you're walking through the mall, and you're like "What's that smell? Aww I just got a cavity! Damn Cinnabon!"

"You can be a genius, you try and write a postcard you come across like a moron anyway: "This city's got big buildings, I like food, bye."

I'll admit that I read Jim Gaffigan quotes on my laptop during summer school. It's a necessity for my damn sanity. I don't understand why some people take summer courses by choice! Nothing thrilled me more than realizing that I am paying 95 cents a minute as I am simultaneously praying to get out of class early. There is absolutely no way to make that into a winning situation.

"Don't worry you know God has a sense of humor 'cause he was talking to Moses as a burning bush. Burning bush? Can you imagine if you were the first person Moses told about that:
"Yeah, God just talked to me as a burning bush"
..."Sure he did...Uh Moses, we think maybe you've been burnin some bush."

Kid client quote of the day:
Me (female): We have the same initials! Our first and last names start with the same letters.
8 year old male client: Really?!? Is your middle name Joseph too??

entry numero uno

I thought college was supposed to be this panacea type of place where the rest of my life would fall into place and I'd live "happily ever after."

HA.

I think I had the same assumption about high school. And Grad School. And here I am, 10 months away from being completely done with school (though I believe learning never ends), nowhere even close to where (take that literally and physically) I thought I would be.

I'm lost. I'm confused. Sometimes I self-diagnose myself as being bi-polar, but that's a whole new issue.

Tell me to describe myself in 100 words or less and I'd be the one who puts "n/a" or "impossible" or "next question please." I am opinionated and opinionless (I don't think that is actually a word). I hate sleeping, but I hate sleepovers where everyone stays up all night.

I love my major, but most of the time I have no clue what I want to do with my life.

I hope I'm not alone.

"Remember tonight...for it is the beginning of always":::Dante